On My Mind

Holy hell, it's SUNNY today in Seattle! Surely, the world has been plunged into the depths of madness. I'm excited.

It's hard to be a Californian in this town for many reasons. One: Your skepticism of others/new people is seen as douchey or cold (even though native Seattleites can be some of the nicest or some of the cruelest people I've ever met, and I grew up in the Pasadena area). Two: The sunshine is ridiculously elusive. Three: You're torn because you know that L.A. is hella liberal, but it's the old folks at the traditional Catholics that make the state sway to the Red every time there's a vote. /rant

The point is, I'm stoked that it's sunny!!!!

I just finished reading Brian Wood and Ryan Kelly's graphic novel 'Local' for the third time. I bought the hardcover collection for myself for my birthday. It was a steal at $30 at this little place on 45th in the U-District.



It continues to inspire me to write about it, confound me, move me to almost tears, make me smile, and make me both love and hate the protagonist every time I read it. And every time I read it I get something new out of it. For example in the beginning I never really understood how "Two Brothers" was a necessary part of breaking Megan apart and helping her realize that she needs to start being decent to people. Sure she goes on a self-destructive, self-loathing bender of emotional breakups with peers for 3 years after, but that's called figuring it out and realizing that you really don't have all the answers. I hated Megan for what she does to Gloria and to her various suitors at first, but then I came to understand that it's all part of her larger growth as a person. Especially since I'm not the same person at 23 as I am now at 25.

Then there's chapter 3, "Theories and Defenses."



I almost always skimmed this chapter and never understood how it remotely relates to Megan's journey, seeing it as merely an indulgent chapter for the writer to get his thoughts about music and being in a band and being an outsider on to paper and not having an appropriate way to do it. But once I forced myself to read it, and to find a voice for the characters in my head, I came to realize that their struggle as a band and as people foreshadows Megan's struggle at the end of the book. Plus, is there a better metaphor for feeling like you're getting too old than being in a band that everyone loves yet nobody gives a damn about? You can't come home again; or maybe home was never meant to be your home in the first place?

P.S., if Theories and Defenses were a real band, I bet they'd sound like Thrushes.



Yaaaaay Baltimore. I love this band right now.

Josh and I saw The Raveonettes the other night. Yeah. It happened. I'll blog about it soooooon. Right now I need to go be out in that sunshine.


"I'm a dead man walking here,
But that's least of all my fears.
Ooh underneath the water.
It's not Alabama clay,
Gives my trembling hands away.
Ooh Please forgive me, father."

Mix Tape Fodder: March

Some gems from March that got me through the month! Namely the highlights of: St/ Patty's Day at Cha Cha, drunk boyfriends at house parties where 24 is an old age, romantic walks around Pike Market, drinks and apps with friends in the middle of the day, public transit woes, yearning for Summer, and new jobs!

"He Gets Me High" - Dum Dum Girls

"Cut Me Out" - MNDR

"Still Sound" - Toro y Moi

"Roni" - Chikita Violenta

"Merry-Make It With Me" - The Republic Tigers

"Small Black" - Despicable Dogs

"Celestica" - Crystal Castles

"Sunshine" - Rye Rye w/ M.I.A.

"Caffeinated Consciousness" - TV on the Radio

"DNA" - The Kills

"Darling Buds of May" - Brother

Go download 'em!

Wedding Things

Don't think that just because I haven't written much about it lately, it doesn't mean that my impending nups aren't taking up a good chunk of time/thoughts/energy. Quite the opposite: It's all we talk about lately. Which is fine. I mean, it's sort of a big deal.

Right now we're super close and have a lot of stuff done, but there's still a ton to do. We need to go buy our suits. We need to finish the decorations (we have amassed all of the materials, thankfully). We need to finish the wedding web site so that we can send the Invitations. We need to go scope hotels for our friends and family in the area to stay. We need to get Julie's backyard landscaped for the big day. We need to order tables and chairs and linens.

Biggest of all? We need to decide on structure.

Here's how the big day is planned thus far:

4pm to 5pm: People arrive and have some food and booze and hang out.
5pm to 6pm: ?????????
6pm to 7pm: Food, drinks, CAKE, and toasting.
7pm to Whenever: Dancing and getting hammered with friends and family.

Yeah, so, we don't know what we're going to do for a ceremony. The hard part about all of this is that there are very limited resources out there re: gay weddings, and those that exist really suck ass. If the suggestions and content aren't big and homo and flashy, they're absurdly trite or vice versa. Josh and I had a super-serio shower talk about it, and we came to the conclusion that we need to do what's best for us and what our ideal situation is.

The problem with that? My ideal scenario is just he and I, out in nature somewhere, totally alone, proclaiming our love to each other as the sun sets or rises or does whatever it wants to do. Then we make love and call it a day and we're married and everyone else can shut up.

His ideal scenario is a bit more . . . Grandiose. There are hundreds of people and cater waiters and hella stuff and a DJ and a dance floor.

Since we can't afford his ideal wedding scenario and mine seems like a scene from JD Salinger, we decided to try and find a happy medium. Which meant backyard wedding, less than 100 people, very simple food and drink, and very simple everything. But there's still the matter of ceremonial structure. Do we do the officiant/lines of people/super-duper structured vows thing? Or do we just go up there, say something quick and heartfelt with no one being "master of ceremonies" and then call it a night? Or do we opt out of it completely?

I don't know yet. I like the wedding in the film "Rachel Getting Married." The couple had an audience, but the audience stood in a circle around them. They had an officiant, but that person was their mutual friend. They had lines, but there were like 4 guys and 4 girls and all of them were only sort of wearing matching things. The ceremony was brief, and so were the vows, and at the end everyone cheered and threw glitter and confetti into the air. I love that scene.

What are your thoughts, gentle readers?


"Come on, let's talk about our feelings!
I don't care if what you say is needless."

Everything new is new again.

I started my new job yesterday. I'm training at the Northgate Mall (just 10ish minutes north from our place) to be the Full-Time Assistant Manager of a brand-new, currently under construction Forever 21 store in downtown Seattle, on the corner of Sixth and Pine in the crazy-ass shopping district of downtown.

Now say what you will about the company (the weird "John 3:16" thing comes to mind, as does the scandal from a few years ago re: child labour used to manufacture some of the merchandise), but it truly is one of the largest and fastest growing retailers in the States right now. They're even expanding to Europe in 2012, and the recession has pretty much left them unphased (much like the last company I worked for, Hot Topic). The new Seattle store is going to be one of their "anchor stores" and is expected to have huuuuuge volume and figures.

Is it intimidating? Hell yes. Is it what I ever pictured myself doing? Not really, no. But retail is something I'm good at. There's something about my personality that makes me a good seller. It's probably the writer in me that causes me to casually b.s. my way through life when really I have no idea what I'm doing; or the part of me that genuinely wants to please people and just make it so that they're happy with me.

In any event, this job is solid, it pays well, and it's going to allow me to have more free time to work on personal projects like this here blog and some of my (nerdy snort) fan fiction I've been neglecting for over a year. Not only that, but I can now categorically say that the collection of short stories inspired by modern music is officially underway! I began a notes/outline/crazy ass scribbling of ideas prospective for a story inspired by M83's "Kim & Jessie" last night. The idea is to tell the story of a suicide pact between two social outcast teenagers in the late 1980s that goes awry. See also: The movie "Heathers" and the fact that I've been listening to The Cure a lot lately.

So when I start the new job officially and training is over, I'll become a true Seattlite and start riding the damned bus to and from work every day. I need to find a good messenger bag or shoulder bag to carry all my crap in. Any good suggestions?



"Dreams dressed in blue,
It's all they need now and forever.
Chased by the moon;
They shatter their presence with their singing."

Mix Tape Fodder: February

A new feature where I'll share songs that I downloaded in the previous month that I think you should probably go download as well. Why? AWESOME, that's why.

"Where I'm Going," by Cut Copy

"Confirmation," by Wild Nothing

"Sta Upp," by Little Dragon

"Weekend," by Smith Westerns

"What Can I Do?" by The Black Belles

"Please Ask for Help," by Telekinesis

Go get some!!!!!