Oh, baby.

So my friend Lindsay found out yesterday that she'll be having a baby boy. Congrats, hon. We've come so far together from this:



Baby Lindsay, Baby Ryan, and other Moscow pals drinking illegally in 2006!!!!


To where we are now, having kids and growing up. When I think of the ridiculous times that we shared together and all the tough stuff we went together as well, it really makes me appreciate how far we've all come as people. Hopefully even after you're a mom there can still be time for giant jugs of Carlo, curly fries, and driving around shouting "penis" to random pedestrians.

I can't wait to be an uncle!

Mash-Ups are something I'm musically interested in at the moment. Well, that and 70s-era punk rock and glam rock, but that's a whole other Patty Hearst lovin' blog, isn't it? In terms of the best mash-ups of 1009 I'm going to recommend my favorite 2: "Party and Bullshit in the USA (Biggie Smalls/Miley Cyrus)" by Hathbanger and "Call Me Uprising (Blondie/MUSE)" by CjR Mix. Seriously, if you like good music, you'll go download those songs right the hell now.

Anywho, the search for meaning continues as I get shot down by yet another job that I've applied for. This communications position with a counseling center as the fastest turn-around of rejection, and I'm not sure that's such a good thing. At least I didn't have to play the waiting game this time, right? However my 30-40 hour a week retail job that barely gets me by has finally stabilized. The holidays are over, things have settled down, and now our inventory looms at the end of this month. I feel way more confident right now in this position, and I think I'll be seeing my probationary period through with minimal scarring (physical and emotional).

Current plans include a wedding expo in 2 weeks (I know, I know--but coupons! and absurd straight girls going bat-shit-nutty over obscenely priced dresses! and cake samples!), getting my brakes finally fixed, and making plans for February to travel. Don't know where yet. I'll keep the internets updated.


"Don't want to leave you,
Don't want to stay here,
Don't want to spend another day here.
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna sit now;
I just can't quit now."

25 Random Things About Me

In the spirit of keeping current:

1) I actually didn't know that this list was a "Facebook phenomenon" or an "internet phenomenon" and mistook it for spam when it first showed up in my Myspace account.

2) I don't have a Facebook, which I'm sure frustrates people.

3) I get very irritated when people over-use the word "seriously" (example: 5 times in one sentence) and am angry at "Grey's Anatomy" for making it a colloquialism.

4) I wish that Hillary Clinton had been Obama's VP, but have settled for Secretary of State begrudgingly.

5) I went on a date with a homeless guy once. I was 18. He was that "college hippie" sort of guy who was honestly well groomed and cute and didn't appear homeless--but he didn't have a job, or a home, and he had dropped out of all of his classes--I found this out towards the end of the date. I still question how he was able to pay for the movie we saw (hint: I bet it's drug-related), and I did make out with him in a park. It was actually a good make out sesh. Trev, if you're out there, I hope you found a home and I would've called you back but you didn't have a cell phone so that sort of made calling you impossible.

6) I was drinking PBR before it was hipster-y to do so. Yes that sounds pretentious, but it's true. When I was a freshman in college it was all I or anyone else could afford because we didn't want to drink Keystone or Natural Light. So PBR became the drink of choice. And it still is.

7) I like house parties, but I feel really really really freaking old at them these days because I can buy beer legally. Moscow might not be the best place for that sort of thing.

8) I don't eat red meat at all if I can help it. Excluding pepperoni on pizzas, I try to stick to chicken and turkey.

9) I love coloring and coloring books.

10) I'm very body-conscious, especially when it's weight-related, and I was secretly stoked as all hell that I went from almost 180lbs. to 156 in a year without even realizing it (a pick-me-up at the doctor's office is not what you generally expect to happen, right?).

11) I miss Alli Ockinga very much.

12) I am afraid of wolves.

13) I'm addicted to caffeine, and that's probably a literal fact.

14) I sometimes wish my life was more like a comic book.

15) I have had many an inappropriate crush on my straight male friends. You know who you are. You know I was looking. You probably were stoked. But thanks for not kicking my ass when you caught me checking you out! ;)

16) I love weddings because there's booze and cake and people being awkward.

17) I have never actually seen all of "Schindler's List" because I was like 10 when I watched it with my folks and covered my eyes half the time.

18) I sprained my tail bone when I was little and had to sit on a pillow all the time for like 2 weeks. My cousins made fun of me and told me that I "broke my ass" which wasn't true; I sprained it.

19) I can be a little selfish when it comes to doing something that I want to do, but I compromise most of the time. Mostly.

20) The amount of Sega Genesis I played as a child is staggering.

21) I always say that I'm going to read more, and then I never do because I think that books are disgustingly over-priced when they first hit the shelves.

22) I love to vacuum.

23) I wear hats all the time because I hate my hair.

24) I wish I lived closer to all of my friends, and I really don't think that have many in Moscow at this present time other than Kim and Kendall and Brian and Gabby and my crew from work (whom I only see at work). I have a ton of acquaintances, sure, but no one in the friend zone very much.

25) I want to go to Australia but I'm worried that I'd never leave.

Reflective hang over.

Going to a drag show with your significant other is sort of like being the only long term couple in a speed-dating event. If you're not there to hook up, it's weird and you end up noticing things about human nature that make you feel icky to be a person, and also icky that you may have done those same things when you were single. Am i getting to old for the extreme bar/club scene? Maybe.

On the plus side, last night at some dude's before party I ran into an old instructor of mine who taught a class on documentary films. I really enjoyed the class and her approach to teaching it. It's cool to speak to University faculty like they're, you know, people and not just academics. It's even cooler to sit down and have a beer with them. So this getting older in the extreme club/bar scene does have the thinnest silver linings.

Alli made it safely to Korea, by the way. I expect she's experiencing 48 hours of culture shock at present, and when she gets her travel blog up and running I'll be sure to link/update about it regularly.

"We do the same thing every night;

I swear I've heard this song before.

A swimmer who has seen a shark--

I'd really be more wary of the water."

Miss You.

My friend Alli, whom I've spent the past 5 years of college cavorting and embarking on ridiculous and fantastic adventures with, has just boarded a plane for South Korea. She's going there to teach English-as-a-second-language to high school students for the next six months. We only got to talk for 5 minutes, but in a way I'm glad because any longer and I would've started bawling like a child.

I'll miss you and think of you every day, kid. Remember as our good friend Ralph Waldo said, "All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better."

"We're probably the coolest people that a lot of other people know. Probably."

--Alli

"Come writers and critics 

Who prophesize with your pen

 And keep your eyes wide; 

The chance won't come again. 

And don't speak too soon,

 For the wheel's still in spin 

And there's no tellin' 

Who that it's namin'."

What's up, Doc?

Today I have a doctor's appointment, though it's not about the cold that I've been fighting for a week now (I'm feeling much better today--I'd say at about an 85%?) it's about the mysterious goo that builds up in the corners of my eyes randomly; something I've ignored for about a year (I know, I know a guy my age needs to stay on top of his health--but I'm also a guy, so I tend to put things off in favor of the "no, I'm fine" argument). I'm worried it's going to end in one more prescription I'll have to pay out for every month but I guess if it makes me healthy then it's a positive change.

Another reason why I can't wait to leave Idaho: I grew up not really getting sick or having allergies or getting seasonal colds but when we moved to Idaho when I was 16 I found myself getting sick all of the time, and it became even worse when I moved to Moscow. Perhaps as I've gotten older my immune system has been worse, but is it a coincidence that any time I leave the damn state for an extended period I always feel healthier and less sick (even if it's on a vacation and I'm eating tons of junk food and binge drinking, I feel at my healthiest!). I think the state of Idaho might be detrimental to my existence.

The more we talk about moving, though, the more I start to fret about all of the little details. How much money we have saved, what we're going to sell, how much a U-Haul will be, what we're going to do for jobs, changing the addresses and notifying the 1,001 different places that need to have my address about the change . . . It's a healthy dose of feeling "blerg," as Tina Fey would put it.

Today will consist of the aforementioned appointment, laundry, and hanging the eff out. Josh and I have the day off together, which is nice, but there's always a bit of a struggle as to what we're going to do with our day (well, most of it). We want to go walk dogs at the Humane Society but there aren't any open to the public right now, sadly. So until some flea-bitten friends that aren't "high risk animals" come along, it looks like it's more episodes of The West Wing for us!

"Yeah, we are the blue, so strong and confused; 

Tracking down dusty roads finding what we lose. 

Dancing with the causalities: Spirits of wars, 

Shedding a few tears for the beggars and whores."

Filling the gap.

Been a few weeks since I've posted, so rightly I've got to fill the gap with what's been happening in my post-grad existence so far. I know you all want to know, right? Good.

I submitted my article to Diversity News on the 15th along with an e-mail, but so far I haven't heard anything back yet, nor have i heard anything from Kathy regarding what she thought of the article. In all honesty I'm taking the fear-based way out by avoiding Kathy and the crew on Inland Oasis altogether on the off-chance that my article wasn't what they were expecting. This seems to happen a lot to me; people want something but they don't understand that I don't write press releases (unless you ask me to), I write news pieces and those two things are not the same. We'll see if I get published, and I'll keep you up-to-speed if I do. In the mean time I'm going to refrain from posting the piece I wrote just in case.

Work continues to be the main source of sanity, along with Josh and the few friends still living in the area. I'm up to 25 hours a week on average (give or take an hour) with weekends off, which has been nice because I've got to spend more time with Josh but odd because I find myself wasting away hoping the weather clears up. I'd love to take up snowboarding again some day. Maybe after we move? Right now it doesn't make much sense to buy all the equipment, buy a pass, and hope for snowfall in the mountains (when it's the valleys that are presently getting hammered). I should get a gym membership.

Anyone hear about this new President guy? I hear he's a Democrat . . .

. . . WIN!

I've been thinking about getting a Twitter account, but since I can't blog in a mobile way (as I don't have a phone that connects to the internet) I am failing to see the point . . . I just like the way that Twitter looks visually is what it comes down to. And that's not reason enough to spend more time online.

Things are stabilizing financially. I still haven't been able to put more than 2 grand away for the big move but I expect to be able to soon. $50 from every paycheck should get me to about $2,500 by the time we leave in May, plus whatever is sitting in the regular bank account by then. Not too shabby for a moving buffer.

How you know you're getting old #2: You see something on QVC that you might actually like to purchase. 

Today I saw a recipe album with 30 free insert cards, a glass cutting board (with 3 designs to choose from, 'natch) and a cheese knife for a little less than $30. And I thought to myself, "a place for recipes would be good since all we have now are cookbooks with pieces of printer paper and magazine clippings stuffed in them." Then the lady on QVC said the same damn thing, and I nearly fell out of my seat. It's like they know you have only the slightest need for things so they get good at selling them! I didn't buy it. I'm not 50 quite yet.

This blog is a new guilty pleasure for me. It's a little NSFW, so click responsibly.

This week I'll be working, living, and maybe drinking a little. You'll be updated more often, little blog. I promise to update you, and feed and water you every day, and to clean up after you.

"I'll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms.
I'll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world.
I'll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home.
Yeah I'll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone."