Monday, December 22, 2008

Why now? Why blog?

Why does anyone write one of these things we call a "web log" or "blog?" I'm utterly fascinated by this question. There are so many reasons for hopping into the world of online exposure, but I suppose underneath it all there is a primary motive of pure egocentric behavior. It's a primal, very real motivation to say "Hey, look at me! I exist! I'm here, and this is who I am!" We have the need to connect with other people and to gush about ourselves to feel like we're real; like we're living a life that pushes and pulls and just is

So I'm filling the need to talk about my life in its post-undergrad phase. To me it's a very strange, very exciting time to be a person. I have a degree (or the skeleton of a degree seeing as I haven't received the physical diploma in the mail yet), I have a skill/trade that I've spent years honing to a degree-worthy level, and I have the opportunity to do absolutely anything. And that's so completely absurd to me. Anything, anywhere, at any time. I could pick up right now, this week, and change my whole existence by going somewhere else and doing something different.

This is what I'm doing now:
-working
-spending money
-saving money
-existing in the town I went to college in

It's the word went that is amazing and frightening for me. I'm done with my undergraduate experience. It's over, and I finished. I went to college, and now I'm no longer in college. Yet here I sit, in the same town that my college campus is in. Sure I only graduated a week ago, but now the question arises of what to do now? I already went to college. I already got my degree. And now what?

So that's the present tense for me. Living, existing, and just being for now until something else happens. I don't know when I'll get to transition into a new phase of life, or even what that phase of life is. It's a waiting room moment for me. And I'm going to capture every little thing that happens in my present day existence to analyze, interpret, and understand this weird state of being I'm in.

Okay, life. Let's do this.


"I been dead but I got better, been to heaven, loved in hell. Once more I am wand'rin', wand'rin' down this road I know so well . . ."

2 comments:

  1. Thank you! Hopefully this exploration of myself will lead to further exploration on that topic.

    ReplyDelete

Rant, rave, and say hello!